All That and a Bag of Chips

I’d like to talk about the phrase “all that and a bag of chips” for a moment. Sometimes when I see a girl who is really fly I will be like, “damn! She’s all that!” But rarely have I seen a girl who is so “all that” that I needed to quantify her overachievement with potato chips. Also, I’ll be the first to admit it: chips are a strange choice of units for greatness, but I guess they’re more appealing than fathoms or kilowatts. I mean, Could you imagine seeing a shortie walkin down the block and being like, “Damn! She’s all that and a hectare of awesome?” That would be downright Ridiculous with a capital R.

Of course you bring up a valid point when you ask if a girl could possibly be such a hottiepachottie that one bag of chips just can’t express how great she is. In special cases (e.g., Beyonce, JLo in the nineties), it would be completely appropriate to say something like, “She’s all that and six bags of family size chips from Costco.”

My Favorite Twins

I love motorcycle license plates. They’re so cute and tiny. Whenever I see a motorcycle parked with its cuddly dollhouse license plate facing me, I always wish that a panda were sitting on the bike. “Want to go for a ride?” The panda would ask. “No. I’m meeting a friend at Chick-fil-a,” I’d say. “But you sure look cute.”

I think when Hells Angels walk through the DMV, they must walk right past the regular-size license plate section. They want an adorable miniplate they can hold in their gruff biker hands. Don’t try to tell me their plates are only smaller because motorcycles are smaller than cars. To that I say, “Baloney!”Also, whatever happened to these guys?