Civilization V: Boot Camp vs. Mac OS X

This post isn’t funny, but it is informative! So I bought Civilization V for the mac, and it suffers from a lot of performance issues: choking on even the lowest graphic settings. But with Steam, when you buy a game for one platform, you get it for all platforms, so I tried an experiment. I downloaded Civilization for Windows using Boot Camp.

The same computer. Different operating systems. Was there a difference?

THE WINDOWS VERSION WORKED INSANELY BETTER. No graphics stuttering, no waiting for renders… I’d say it ran 30 frames per second versus 10 frames per second on the mac (sometimes 5 frames per second). The difference is undeniable. From now on, I’m buying PC games and running them in Boot Camp.

Since it’s the same hardware, does anyone out there know why it runs so much better in Windows?

Beards

In my experience, the worst thing about having a six-foot beard is always tripping over it at dinner parties with the in-laws. The best thing: finding chicken legs in your beard all the time because hey, free chicken.

Working Within The System (Los Angeles Business Taxes and the Entertainment Industry)

STEP ONE: Cue up this music, then read on:

Congratulations, you have received form AB 63, brought to you by SB 1146 aka The Los Angeles Tax Enforcement Program! They can be reached at (213) 473-5901. What they do is this: they go around calling everyone in Los Angeles who had 1099 income on their tax returns, because the city thinks they are businesses that should pay city taxes!

You: “But I’m not a business, I’m a writer/actor/director/whatever!”

I KNOW THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID TOO!

Here’s what you have to do: fill out the form they sent you (or find a new application online). For income, ONLY report money from 1099 earnings, and even then, only report money earned from businesses with address in Los Angeles. There are a hilariously small number of companies based in Los Angeles itself. There’s a list of zip codes on the lacity/finance website, but it basically excludes WeHo, Hollywood, Glendale, Burbank, Santa Monica, and anyone NOT LA. So your 1099 income might be… small. It will probably be ZERO.

When you submit your application, be sure to include a letter stating that you are a “creative artist” as defined by LAMC 21.29.(b) There is a $300,000/year allowance for the likes of you, so don’t sweat it.

Mail that stuff in! Relax! Have some Oreos or something!

What happens next is magical. You are registered as a creative artist! They should leave you alone in the future. But the city will send you a bill for BACK TAXES, and depending on your numbers from previous years, that bill might be small or large. Again, it will probably be zero. But no matter what, you must pay this money. Sorry.

But!

If you write them a check for the principle and the interest, and then add a letter that says “I was unaware of these city taxes, so please waive the penalty,” they will waive the penalty! As if by magic! You will save 40 percent! THAT IS CRAZY HOW MUCH THE PENALTY IS, AND HOW EASY IT IS TO NOT PAY IT!

But odds are you earned 0 dollars on those Los Angeles-based 1099s, because corporations are smarter than governments. The End.